29 March 2008

Can we talk about hair?

So can I talk about hair for a moment? Last week I went to the salon to get my annual summer highlights - nothing like a few golden locks to make my eyes sparkle and get me thinking sunshine! Well, this time I walked out a bit "blonder" than my usual...in fact, a bit uncomfortably blonde for my taste. You know how when you leave the salon and you keep catching yourself in the mirror and you either think "damn I look good" or "oh god, what are the chances I can get in and out of Rite Aid without running into someone I know, buy the right color to rectify this disaster and justify the fact that I just spent $85 only to spend $10 more to end up with the same color I started with." All right I'll be honest, it's not that bad...but I did consider going back to maybe have it "toned down" a bit. But then not but 15 minutes later, my thoughts moved on to all different sorts of stuff...the blonde long forgotten... And do you know that one of my thoughts was "remember to check the Vera Bradly website to see if they have scarves". And do you know why I thought that? I thought that because my dear friend Sallie (CK owner down in Philly) was diagnosed with Breast Cancer this past fall and is now going through her chemo treatments. Sallie and I have had many conversations about hair. I absolutely love Sallie's frank honesty about her hair...she says quite frankly "I'm vain, I don't want to be bald". She has shopped for wigs (and purchased one), but she's worried about the summer heat and she has been warned that her scalp will become very sensitive and the wig might be downright uncomfortable. During our last conversation she just sighed and said "maybe I will just do the scarf thing". Sallie has admitted that she really thinks she could go through this whole process and be okay (double mastectomy, chemo, radiation and drug therapy) if only she didn't have to lose her hair. ...so back to my conversation about hair...I'm thinking about my blonde...I'm thinking about buying a scarf for Sallie...and the light bulb goes off. No no, not the obvious light bulb, the "be thankful you have hair Andria" it was more a realization of my (and I think "our") relationship with our hair. I obviously color my hair and I do this mostly to cover up gray, and why do I do this?...because I think that dark brown hair with a bunch stray grays is just downright ugly okay? I then started to think of the women in my life and their hair... Annie in my office has made it quite clear that should she die, her 80's "poof" better go with her to the grave...I truly think she would have a bad day if her bangs were not at least 2 inches high. And then there is my beautiful mother who has gone from golden brown, to bombshell blonde and back to a dark chestnut all in the last decade (and openly admits it's not fair that she was born with fine thin hair)... My sister jokes that she is not really sure what her true hair color is... And men are not exempt from this you know...show me a man who WANTS to go bald. Why do you think there are so many jokes about the "comb over"? Oh really...none of this is bad or meant to poke fun...this is who we are and it's okay...but it did hit home to me how difficult this diagnosis can be for women. Isn't it amazing that we can be stripped of our breasts and not mind it as much as our hair? So I'll be keeping my blonde I think. Not because I want to try and "feel" a bit of the pain that Sallie is going through (trust me...she would laugh and say "I wouldn't do it for you"!), but rather just to put things in perspective. So next time you see me and think "wow, I wonder if she knows how blonde she is?" Yes, yes I do.

1 comment:

Carla said...

I always let my hair go to the point where I can't stand it anymore; i.e., length, color, texture...then I call Darlene and whine. Fortunately, she knows me and she always takes care of me quickly and never lectures me, which is nice.

My mother (your grandmother), on the other hand, has already made her funeral arrangements. She wants a closed casket with no viewing, BUT, she wants her hair done. I guess she wants to look her best when she sees grandpa again. Go figure....

P.S. There is nothing wrong with being a little blond, as long as it doesn't dumb you down.

Love, Aunt Carla