Summer

Summer = fireworks Little boys + snappers = Duncan airborne Are you familiar with the little fireworks that you throw to the ground and they snap? My boys LOVE them...we go through hundreds of them.

Sunny

It seems only fitting to now blog about my other boy... This boy who looks so grown up and serious. So handsome. So amazing. This child who is in that wonderfully beautiful stage between little boy and little big boy... This child who gives his love so abundantly.

Let me share.

This is Duncan with blue blankey. These pictures are taken within weeks of each other. This is how Duncan holds blue blankey...with the embroidered rocking horse between his fingers and his thumb in his mouth. This is the ONLY time you will every see Duncan suck his thumb.

The top photo is the little big boy...the bottom photo is little boy...

Tonight I was holding Duncan who was holding blue blankey and as most of you know I call him Sunshine or "Sunny" for short...

Me: Oh Sunny, I love you sooo much.

Duncan: Oh Mommy, I love you too.

Me: Will you always be my Sunny?

Duncan: Mommy, I promise I will always bring light into your life...

Do you have any idea how drop dead incredible it was to hear that?

Does he know?

Cooper very much likes his mom and dad to come to school with him, to come to morning meeting, to attend his field trips, to be a "driver" etc. So this past Friday I joined Cooper on a field trip to the creek to hunt for fossils. I took my camera because, well, I'm ME...and after taking portraits of every child in Cooper's class, I turned the camera to him. He is so used to this I don't even think he notices which I am so thankful for. I loved coming home and downloading all the photographs. The photos of all the other children were so much fun, something different. (I ordered prints for all the parents and just picked them up at Target.) As I looked through them and sorted, I found myself gravitating toward photos where he wasn't looking at the camera like the one above. Then I looked back through ALL my photos and realized that this shot looking down on him (and those of Duncan too) are some of my favorites... I look at this and think... Does he know how much I love him? Does he know how I worry about his separation anxiety and wonder if it will fade in time? Does he know that in a strange way I cling to his separation anxiety because it means he still needs me? Does he know that I see so much of myself in him? Does he know that when he gets upset because things aren't perfect I understand deep down in my soul? Does he know that I love when he holds my hand? Does he know that I love when he says to me "a mommy's job is never done" because I realize that on a six year old level he "gets" what I do for him? Does he know that I understand when he pretends not to need me but really does? Does he know that I love and hate how fiercely independent he is about his wardrobe? Does he know that I love how he looks forward to reading to me at night? Does he know how much I love his freckles? Does he know how badly I want everything wonderful and amazing in this world for him? Does he know how much I love that we count at night and tuck each other's kisses away to keep us safe in the night? Does he know how much I look forward to the planet that he will pick? I love you all the way to _______ and back? Does he know how much I love him? Does he know?

Dreams

"We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true." ~ Woodrow Wilson