Perfectly Lovely

My it's been awhile hasn't it?  I see the blog needs some work.  Things are a bit different here at blogger.com.  I've taken the weekend to reacquaint myself.  I need to fix the header, I need to fix spacing, I need to update the links and information on the side.  I'll get to all that.  Maybe.  But for now I need to say hello.  I'm still here - WE are still here.  Growing up, learning, experiencing, laughing, crying, playing and living.

So much going on, so much has happened and so much to come. Cooper starts 5th grade today. PUBLIC school for the first time.  25 kids in his class vs. in the entire school (slight exaggeration but not by much). Duncan starts 4th grade but not until after Labor Day.  We head to Pittsburgh this weekend for our annual trip and Pirates game.

My plan is to get to know my blog again.  If for no one else but my boys.  This was the place that I documented their lives.  Our lives.  I want them to know (through my words and my photographs) how we lived.  They will have their own memories, but I want them to also have mine.  I want them to know what we ate for dinner, what we talked about, what we struggled with and what made us laugh so hard we fell off our chairs.

So that is my goal.  My goal for tomorrow and next week.  Maybe even my goal for later today.

My goal right this very second is to go snuggle Duncan (who just got dropped off) and kiss him way too many times.  That, I believe is a perfectly lovely way to start a day...

iWorld

iPhone

iPad

 

Playing each other via wifi.

  Remember when atari was cool?

Who's fault?

After my last post I tried repeatedly to post again.  And again.  I swear.  However it would not upload my pictures.  ...yes, IT would not upload my pictures.  I don't know who.  Blogger?  My computer?  Me? (always a possibility). 

I took a chance again tonight and whalaa!  "It" seems to be working again.  When I logged in to the Blogger site there where banners galore saying it was "new and improved".  So for the record, I'm thinking "it" was totally Blogger and certainly not ME! 

PS.  I didn't think they could get cuter than they were at ages 3 and 4.  But 7 and 8 are actually pretty darn cute too!

Today

How do I start again?  What do I say?  What's my excuse? How can I possibly catch up?  

These are just a few of the many questions that run through my head when I contemplate a post.  I know the answers.  I'm okay with the answers.  Or so I tell myself. 

How do I start again?  Just do it.

What do I say?  What ever I want.

What's my excuse?  I don't need one.

How can I possibly catch up?  Who says I have to?

Just start.  Just write.  Just add a photograph.  Talk about today.  Or talk about 3 months ago.  Just do it.  Let go of should, could, would. 

So I start again.  With no promise of tomorrow or next week.  But a need for today. 

Cooper:

Has a face so beautiful it makes me melt

Came up behind me last week when I was washing dishes and randomly hugged me

Sent me a text and told me he loved me

Has consistently been getting 100's on his spelling tests

Has started baseball practice and STILL loves the game after all these years

Is listening better than he used to

Loves his iPod, the iPad and my iPhone

Has started spiking his own hair

Loves everything Under Armor

Still likes to sit on my lap, sit near me, sleep next to me, snuggle and know that I'm close by

Has almost no separation anxiety anymore

Has matured and become so grown up in the last year

Likes a tubby better than a shower

Is a morning person like me. Wakes up happy and never cranky

Is helpful

Loves tomato and fresh mozzarella salad

Is an absolute joy to have as a son

 

Duncan

Has a precious toothless smile at the moment

Slurs his speech a little because of his new expander

Balances on the edge of counters, chairs, stools, the tub and tables instead of sitting in chairs

Loves Top 40 music

Loves acting and performing

Is doing much better with his reading

Sleeps sideways, upside down, on top of me and on top of his brother

Has been know to fall out of bed

Is not a morning kid

Is the first to fall asleep (with me following close behind)

Loves all things creative

Loves art, crafts and decorating for the holidays

Loves legos, erector sets and anything he can build

Loves playing alone

Loves yogurt parfaits

Still wants me to carry him

Makes me cards, bookmarks, books, games and pictures

Is an absolute joy to have as a son

Today

I am pretty darn happy

I'm thrilled Spring is here

I'm looking forward to exciting new growth and ideas at work

I am totally loving my new tea pot

I'm really enjoying the story of HeLa cells

It makes me want to read The Warmth of Other Suns

But this and this look so good too...

I'm awaiting the arrival of my juicer in the mail so I can start my week long juice fast

I'm looking forward to taking the boys camping in a yurt with some friends in a couple weeks

I'm looking forward to a trip to Orlando and a trip to Dallas in April

I'm looking forward to picking the boys up tomorrow and kissing their sweet faces

I'm glad my mom and dad are home from the islands

My house is clean, my bed is made but I have a suitcase that still sits unpacked

I Told You

I told you the winter would go, love.

I told you the winter would go.

That he'd flee in shame when the south wind came.

And you smiled when I told you so.

You said the blustering fellow

Would never yield to a breeze.

That his cold, icy breath had frozen to death

The flowers, and birds, and trees.

And I told you the snow would melt, love,

In the passionate glance o' the sun;

And the leaves o' the trees, and the flowers and bees,

Would come back again, one by one.

That the great, grey clouds would vanish,

And the sky turn tender and blue;

And the sweet birds would sing, and talk of the spring,

And, love, it has all come true.

I told you that sorrow would fade, love,

And you would forget half your pain,

That the sweet bird of song would waken ere long,

And sing in your bosom again;

That hope would creep out of the shadows,

And back to it's nest in your heart,

And gladness would come, and find its old home,

And that sorrow at length would depart.

I told you that grief seldom killed, love,

Though the heart may seem dead for awhile,

But the world is so bright, and so full of warm light

That 'twould waken at length, in its smile.

Ah, love! was I not a true prophet?

There's a sweet happy smile on your face,

Your sadness has flown - the snow-drift is gone,

And the buttercups bloom in its place.


I Told You by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Favorite time

At times I am asked (usually on a "personality test" or random question email) "what is your favorite time of day"? I have to admit I struggle with this...it's hard for me to choose a favorite. I'm definitely a morning girl (much to the irritation of some of my friends and family). I love the crack of dawn, hot tea and the hustle and bustle of a day starting. But gosh, who doesn't love happy hour? I love that time of putting work to rest and saying "ahh". Hanging with the boys. Hanging with friends and family. Even hanging alone... For that short while, forgetting what "has" to be done and just relaxing. But. Then there is bedtime. I myself have always loved bedtime. In fact, my parents always said "sleep" was my drug of choice. And as much as I love bedtime for myself...I might love it even more for my boys. Being six and seven and male means from the time you wake in the morning until maybe 30 minutes before you crash and burn at night you live at warp speed. You play and fight and battle and run and hike and explore and entertain and laugh and cry and jump and hide and trick and wrestle and tumble and it goes on and on until it suddenly stops... And it gets quiet. This is the time of day that just might be my favorite. This is when I find them on the chair in my room...reading Shel Silverstein or stringing me a necklace. This is when they smell like babies again. This is when they are soft. This is when it's okay to snuggle with mommy. This is when they slow down to a speed that I can comprehend. This is when Duncan still sucks his thumb. This is when Cooper loves to play Uno and read to me and tell me stories. This is the time that is so good for me...it grounds me and reminds me of what is truly special and important in my life. Yes...this is my favorite...

My current love affair...

Valentines from my children: Cooper: I love you because you bought me a Nintendo DSi. Duncan: I love you because you take care of me.

Keeping in mind...

After winter comes the summer. After night comes the dawn. And after every storm, there comes clear, open skies.

~Samuel Rutherford

Smile

Get away.

Put your feet in the water.

Slow down.

Take a deep breath.

Focus on what is good.

Keep calm.

Carry on.

Does he know?

Cooper very much likes his mom and dad to come to school with him, to come to morning meeting, to attend his field trips, to be a "driver" etc. So this past Friday I joined Cooper on a field trip to the creek to hunt for fossils. I took my camera because, well, I'm ME...and after taking portraits of every child in Cooper's class, I turned the camera to him. He is so used to this I don't even think he notices which I am so thankful for. I loved coming home and downloading all the photographs. The photos of all the other children were so much fun, something different. (I ordered prints for all the parents and just picked them up at Target.) As I looked through them and sorted, I found myself gravitating toward photos where he wasn't looking at the camera like the one above. Then I looked back through ALL my photos and realized that this shot looking down on him (and those of Duncan too) are some of my favorites... I look at this and think... Does he know how much I love him? Does he know how I worry about his separation anxiety and wonder if it will fade in time? Does he know that in a strange way I cling to his separation anxiety because it means he still needs me? Does he know that I see so much of myself in him? Does he know that when he gets upset because things aren't perfect I understand deep down in my soul? Does he know that I love when he holds my hand? Does he know that I love when he says to me "a mommy's job is never done" because I realize that on a six year old level he "gets" what I do for him? Does he know that I understand when he pretends not to need me but really does? Does he know that I love and hate how fiercely independent he is about his wardrobe? Does he know that I love how he looks forward to reading to me at night? Does he know how much I love his freckles? Does he know how badly I want everything wonderful and amazing in this world for him? Does he know how much I love that we count at night and tuck each other's kisses away to keep us safe in the night? Does he know how much I look forward to the planet that he will pick? I love you all the way to _______ and back? Does he know how much I love him? Does he know?

Dreams

"We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true." ~ Woodrow Wilson

Those times when you love being wrong

My sister always said he looked like me... And I'm not saying I wasn't always hopeful... But I'll admit to a bit of skepticism. However, Would you check out those eyes?! I'm thinking maybe...just maybe...she was on to something.

Focus

Sometimes when the world around me is nutty and crazy, I find it helps to focus on the good, simple, light things... *remembering how much I love taking (and looking at) photos of my boys *the smell of lavender soap in my bathroom *open windows, breeze *hummus with extra virgin olive oil *teaching Cooper ebay *sleeping with little boys that wear no shirts (they are soooo soft next to me) *sounds of nature on my iPod (totally dorky but very relaxing) *the smile that I know is on a friends face when we talk on the phone *wearing skirts and flip flops *giving Duncan a haircut...his face is way too cute to have hair all over it *clean sheets *reading Star Wars EVERY night to my boys

Hello

At first there was fun teasing, then irritated annoyance, followed up by "I loved the mean bad butterflies 6 WEEKS AGO" and now threats to delete the blog's bookmark. I get it; I do. And I wish that I had some glorious explanation for my absence. But alas...I have none. I think most of all I lacked inspiration. Sometimes I had the thoughts in my head but I was lackluster when it came to photography, or I would take a lovely picture and for the life of me could not conjure up anything remotely interesting to say about it. And then, well, there is my ongoing complicated relationship with March... I've been walking around with writers/photographers block. I needed inspiration...I needed aaahhhh with a smile. I just had to wait for it to come, I had to be patient and trust that it would return. And last night I think it did... I was busy fixing dinner, probably had a gazillion things running through my head, when out of the corner of my eye I see this out my pantry door... I knew what they were doing. I knew it was for me. Aaaaahhhh. Aaaahhhh with a smile.

It's that simple act. That act which one can not tell who derives more pleasure from, the giver or the receiver.

I see you my sweet. I see you making your momma smile. I see.

I get it; I do.

Mean bad butterflies

They were all out of "mom" tattoos...

Happy Love Day

Ohhh a day full of love love love. Breakfast full of strawberries, raspberries, powdered sugar and whip cream. Personalized cookies. Hearts and pearls. Kisses and hugs. Oh how awesome love is!

The invasion continues

First my blender...now my bananas. Sigh.

Homework

I just love that he has discovered drawing "profiles" (check the faces). And the fingers are killing me! But my favorite part...has GOT to be my high heals. (click on picture if you need to enlarge).

Quick catch up - 4

So I think I mentioned Star Wars. Star Wars Legos. HUGE hit. (Thank you Uncle Richard). Every single set was put together by the 27th. I loved loved loved watching him put everything together. He was so organized and followed the directions page by page...so very Virgo...strange I would find that so appealing I know.

Uncle Butchie came to help...

Hard to tell who had more fun.

What's been going on around here...

Cooper was Meeting Leader at school yesterday. He told me I was NOT allowed to take pictures. But a mom's promises...what are they worth? I told myself that one day he would be happy that I recorded his life; happy that I was proud enough to sneak my camera in.

He is absolutely loving school and soaking it all in. He is slowly learning to read...nothing big, but definitely mastering the "sound it out" process. Last week after his tubby I found him writing in a little journal book that I keep by my bed. He showed me what he was writing... Let me help you. Ignore the first line (it basically says "10" which refers to the number of letters in his "sentence"). Now on to his "sentence"... DINT (translation - do not) TOC (touch) A (a) CBR (cobra). "Do not touch a cobra". I love love love this!! It's the beginning; it's thinking about letters and sounds and putting them together. I am so exciting to see him making these connections.